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  • [故事大全] [手机访问]

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    民间高手戏庸官

    时间:2019-02-01 09:05来源:网络整理 作者: 佚名

      清朝年间,省府派来一个叫吴大科的到永定县当县令。吴大科自恃科举出身,还高中探花,狂妄自大,目空一切,认为自己才高八斗,根本就不把别人放在眼里。

      听说永定县有个叫覃继鸥的人,人称覃趣才,很有智识,吴大科有心与他比试一下,便叫手下把覃继鸥带到了衙门。覃继鸥原来是一个干干瘦瘦的小老头,身上穿得破破烂烂,还脏兮兮的。

      吴大科装模作样地说:“覃先生,听说你聪明绝顶,最拿手的本领是扯谎。本县令今天想和你赌一把。你当着众人的面扯个谎,要是你的谎能骗到本县令,我就赏你十两银子;要是你徒有虚名,得在本县令胯下钻三圈。如何?”

      覃继鸥见他欺人太甚,想了想说:“其实小民没有您说的那些本事,不过,我有一件宝贝,叫谎架子,我扯谎的本事都是它教出来的。每次我要扯谎,只要往谎架子上一睡就行。”

      吴大科将信将疑,就让覃继鸥赶紧把谎架子拿出来。覃继鸥却推说谎架子在他家里,于是吴大科又催促他回家去拿。

      覃继鸥摇了摇头说:“不行,谎架子太大,我一个人拿不动,得要人抬。”

      吴大科问:“有多大?我叫人帮你去抬。四个人够不够?”

      覃继鸥还是一个劲地摇着头说:“抬来了也没用,县衙的大门太小了,进不来。我看还是算了吧!”

      吴大科觉得覃继鸥是在故意搪塞,他冷“哼”了一声,笑着说:“你先抬来,进不来,我就拆大门,这样总可以吧!”

      覃继鸥还是不慌不忙,他说:“县老爷,您有所不知,我这谎架子有一怪毛病,上了肩膀,必须要一口气抬到头,中途是不能放的,不然就不灵了。您若真要抬,必须先把大门拆掉。”

      吴大科立即吩咐手下人拆大门。只一会儿,一个好端端的大门就全给拆没了。吴大科心想,这回我看你还有什么话可说?他转头对覃继鸥说:“好了,你可以放心大胆地去抬你的谎架子了。”

      覃继鸥哈哈大笑说:“我的县老爷,您的大门都被我的谎给扯没了,您还想要我再扯个谎,把县衙也拆了吗?”吴大科一听,知道上当了,气得胡子都快翘上鼻尖了,只得乖乖地给了覃继鸥十两银子,打发他走了。

      没想到阴沟里翻了船,这可把吴大科气坏了,他决定找机会报复覃继鸥。一天,他从手下那里得知,覃继鸥家穷得叮当响。吴大科摸了摸下巴,心生一计。

      第二天,吴大科就带着几个狗腿子来到覃继鸥住的关家岩村。刚到村口,正好碰到了覃继鸥。

      覃继鸥正想绕开他,不想吴大科几步蹿到覃继鸥面前,说:“覃继鸥,本县令今天专门来找你收钱,你怎么见了我就躲呀!难道你想赖账不成?”

      覃继鸥疑惑道:“小民何时欠过大人的钱?”

      吴大科说:“我都调查清楚了,你儿子前年该当壮丁,没去,是乡里出钱帮你交的;你去年有了个孙子,没交添丁税;还有给乡里的保安费你也没交,还有别的好多,总计十多两银子。都是老熟人了,就交个整数,十两吧!”

      覃繼鸥一再推脱,不停说自己有急事,改日亲自给吴大科送钱上门。

      吴大科冷笑着说:“那你说说,到底是什么急事?”

      覃继鸥无可奈何地摇了摇手说:“我还真不能说。您就不要多问了。”

      覃继鸥这一说,把吴大科的胃口吊得更足了,非要问个明白不可。他使了个眼色,几个狗腿子走上去,围住覃继鸥。

      覃继鸥前后左右看了看,不得已压低声音说:“好,我说。不过我只能跟你一个人说,你得让他们走开。”说着指了指狗腿子。

      吴大科把手一挥,几个狗腿子便走远了。覃继鸥这才神秘兮兮地说:“这事说出来真要把人气死了。刚才我和我那婆娘拌了几句嘴,她一赌气,把家里的玉如意给丢井里去了。那可是我家的传世之宝啊!你说我能不着急吗?这不,我正准备去找人帮忙,下井去捞呢!”

      吴大科听后高兴坏了,如果真是个好东西,就要想办法把它弄到手。主意已定,他便笑着说:“原来如此!那还用得着找其他人吗?本县令就是现成的!”

      覃继鸥把头摇得像拨浪鼓,连着说了几个不行,他可不敢让堂堂县令帮自己干活!而且万一那几个狗腿子把这事传出去……

      吴大科说:“这有什么不行的,为民解悬是我们当官的职责!你快去找根绳子来,我帮你就是。”说着,他把几个狗腿子彻底打发走了。

      不一会儿,覃继鸥就找来了绳子,往自己身上绑。吴大科见了,一把夺过绳子说:“我比你年轻,怎么能让你下去呢?你在上面拉,我下井去帮你捞。”

      吴大科心里早就打好了如意算盘:如果自己下井捞到了那玩意,就假装说没捞着,先找个岩缝把它藏起来。到了夜里,再带自己的人来,偷偷下井把它取走。

      覃继鸥谢过吴大科,满脸感激地拉起绳子套住他,慢慢地往井下放。

      井口很小,人在下面刚够转身,井水有一人多深,只有沉入水中才能摸到井底。吴大科在井底摸了好一阵,还是一无所获。

      这时节已是深秋了,井水冰凉刺骨。吴大科早已被冻得直打颤,有些支持不住了,他忍不住问覃继鸥:“我都摸大半天了,贵夫人到底是不是把它扔在这口井里的?”

      覃继鸥坚称错不了,吴大科只得再继续摸。井里的水被他折腾得十分浑浊,沉入水里时,泥巴和秽物不时钻进他的鼻孔和嘴里,那滋味实在是不好受。他再次浮出水面,结结巴巴地说:“实在是摸不到,我冷得快不行了。不摸了,你快拉我上去吧!”

      覃继鸥气定神闲地说:“你这么急着要上来做什么?是不是你摸到后藏了起来,在骗我?”

      “我骗你就天打五雷轰,不得好死。”吴大科赌咒发誓道,又不住地向覃继鸥哀求着拉他上去。

      覃继鸥忍住笑,拿起绳子,刚拉到井中央时,他故意把手一松,吴大科连人带绳子一起又落入水中。覃继鸥夸张地叫了一声:“哎哟!”

      吴大科有气无力地说:“我把绳子甩上去,你接着拉吧!我真的快不行了。”

      覃继鸥却不干了,他说:“你太重,我一个人没那么大劲,拉不起来,我得去叫人来帮忙。对了,你不是来找我要钱吗?我家里没那么多现钱,还得去找人借,可能要大半天才能回来,你就再坚持坚持吧!”说完转身欲走。吴大科见状,哭着喊道:“你别走,钱我不要了,你快拉我上去吧!”

      覃继鸥还是不慌不忙,叹了口气说:“还有一事,县令大人三番五次寻我麻烦,草民可是得罪了大人?请您大人不记小人过,饶了小民吧!”说着,他探头笑眯眯地盯着吴大科。

      吴大科带着哭腔,连声答应再也不找麻烦,覃继鸥这才一口气把他拉了上来。接着,覃继鸥又找出一张纸,趁吴大科有气无力的时候,让他签字画押,保证再也不找自己的麻烦。

      就这样,吴大科被覃继鸥治服了,不仅没要到钱,还冻得个半死,回去就得了一场大病,差点见了阎王。真是偷鸡不成蚀把米,赔了夫人又折兵。

    Tags: 民间高手 庸官

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