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    那个消失在我生命的女孩

    时间:2019-02-14 16:08来源:网络整理 作者: 佚名

      她们家和我们家是世交,从我们两出生以后,就一直生活在一起。我爸把她当做干女儿,她爸把我当亲儿子。小时候我有三分之一的时间是在她家度过的。六岁的时候我们一边玩泥巴,一边约定,要永远在一起。

      可是这个约定完不成了,她违背了她的话,在高考前20天我听到了她去世的消息,陈伯父还叮嘱我爸不要告诉我,说是怕影响我高考。其实她确切离开这个世界的时间,是在高考前26天。没想到他们还瞒了我这么久,但他们错了,我照样跟以前一样上课,下课后还是会跟我的高中同学打闹,跟朋友们在篮球场旁边抽烟,就如同什么事都没有发生过,我也是这样告诉自己的。直到一天午觉睡醒,我偷偷跑到厕所里哭了半小时,我知道我骗不过自己了,因为我梦但我们小时候了。她抬着头手里捧着泥巴,有些紧张地问我:我们会永远在一起吧?我点了点头,她忽然间就很开心的笑了,伸出手两人拉了勾,完成了我们人生彼此第一个约定。

      有一次,我在玩手机,她碰了碰我,跟我说:我喜欢你“我也喜欢你啊”我当时是这么回答的,眼睛还盯着手机,嘴上带着不在意的浅笑,她当时神情就暗淡了“你的喜欢和我的喜欢不一样”那个时候也有16岁了吧,正是青春,我忽然就明白了她的意思,但我分不清我对她,是习惯,还是依赖。她对我,可能也只是因为习惯吧!可能那时候她在我心中,只是一个一起长大的朋友,或许跟我那些一起玩大的男孩子差不多吧!我的犹豫让我拒绝了她,不过她没有生气,也没有因为这事对我而疏远,反而对我越来越好。

      那天她对我说要在我18岁生日那天送我一件礼物。这是我们第二个约定,可惜她依然没有完成。因为不是她亲自送的。在她去世的第48天,我18岁的生日,哪怕我知道不会有那个人来陪我过生了,但我还是在饭店里摆了一桌,请了我熟悉的几个朋友。本来我是想把她介绍给我朋友认识的。那是我们许下约定的一刻就商量好了的“我要以什么身份出现在你生日宴会上呢?”她当时这样问我,“以女朋友的身份好不好!”我从她的语气里竟然听出了一丝请求。我当时答应了,本来我想给我朋友介绍说她是我姐的,也是从那一天,我们之间多了一种不一样的感觉。

      生日那天晚上,陈伯母给我送来了一套衣服,是她去世前逛了一下午的街给我买的,裤子上还有她写的字:我们要永远在一起。那天晚上我喝了好多酒,然后让我爸妈回了老家,一个人在公园一号那套房子里,没哭,只是抽了一包半的烟,然后在厨房里吐了,也没收拾一下就躺在地上睡着了。

      再过几天就是她五年的忌日。我却不敢再回去,怕看到陈伯伯陈伯母,还记得有一天我爸跟陈伯父说:以后,易超就是你们的儿子,他给你们养老。陈伯父自嘲道:当我儿子,也挺好的,以前是准备让这小子当我女婿的,然后他老人家眼睛就红了,我在旁边突然也沉默了。

      那段被赋为青春的日子,因为她的离去,从此不堪入目。可笑我当时还不曾坚定地给她一个回答。可是现在答案出来了,她还能知道吗?在她最后留给我的那封信面前,所有的犹豫都抵不过那句:你一个人,要好好的!后悔么?可是有什么用,原来我只是一个被溺爱包裹的小孩,永远不知道爱我的人是多么的无私。谢谢那个女孩,除了一开始的快乐,后来的悲痛,她还教会了我怎么去爱一个人!如花一般破碎的流年,她成为我人生最深的暗影,让我现在都学会用沉默来伪装自己。当时的那个问题,你想听我的答案么?

    Tags: 消失 女孩

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