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    红色的人心

    时间:2018-12-07 10:21来源:网络整理 作者: 佚名

      人的心为什么是红色的?因为浸在血中.从出生开始,我就知道自己注定无法与周围的人相容.因为我的整个生命都浸在血中.

      在梦中不断出现的,是那一世许了我未来的眼神,哀哀切切地徘徊不去.而我,总是冷冷清清地转过身去,只留背影映在那千呼万唤的眸中.父母师长都责备我是个太过冷漠的孩子,我也不争辩,只是淡淡地回到房间,面对闪烁幽幽绿光的电脑屏幕,敲击着记忆的一幕幕过往.

      六岁时,父母回到家,发现我在安安静静地看电视里播放的电影:纤柔的白衣女子,连声惊呼也不及便被心爱的人分成了支离破碎.我依然还记得那男子凝视着手中寒冷刀锋时的温柔眼神,用手指轻抚过薄刃,一串滑润的血珠沿着优美的弧线滴落.看到父母的惊愕神情,我向他们微笑了.从此,父母再不敢让我一个人在家,把我送到了祖父那里.上了学,学校中的一切完全没有吸引力,同学不愿和孤僻的我说话,上课时我也很少听讲,只是一直望向窗外,有一棵芙蓉树,虽然很老,仍能开出灿烂的花,红得怖目.听说那是因为有人在树下割腕自尽,树根浸了血的缘故.虽然不听课,也很少做作业,奇怪的是,我居然能顺利升学,尽管成绩并不好.因为搬家到城市的另一端,我上了另一所学校.

      离开了芙蓉树,我开始连续不断地做同一个梦.梦中阳光明媚,我独自一人,站在以前住过的楼前,从第一个单元开始,一家一家,一人一人地杀戮.到处都是血.我的手上,身上,脸上,流满被杀的人的血和自己的血,可周围的一切依然很清晰,从未有过的那么清晰.

      我清晰地看到血泊中一片混乱狼籍,身边满是残肢断臂,只是连我都分不清哪部分是哪个人的.散落的内脏蜿蜒着缠绕在家具器皿上,似乎犹自在蠕动.刚刚还在我手上不堪一击的生命竟能顽强到如此地步么?被肢解的人虽然已身首异处,却仍用呆滞的眼睛死死的盯着我.看着我做什么?想找你的手脚还是心肺?抑或是……想记住我沾血的苍白容颜?我拿的只是一把小小的折刀.有时侯刀锋逆回来切在手上,却不痛,我看着手上淌下的血,反而把刀锋向深处压去,更深些,更深些才好.

      可为什么总是不痛呢?终于还是有累的时候,我坐在楼前的长凳上喘息.忽然间来了几个同学,亲热地和我打招呼.我喘不上气,说不出话,他们也不觉得奇怪.血,浓稠地,凄艳地,大片大片地自楼梯上如瀑布一般流下来了.“怎么回事?咱们去看看吧.”他们在说.我害怕,害怕,他们会发现的,会发现那许多零乱的人的肢体.别上去,求你们了,别上去,可他们不听我的,他们听不见我的喊声,我喊啊喊啊,极力想阻止他们,可站不起来.我想

      干脆杀了他们,可没力气.可我不想杀了,不想杀了,别逼我,我不想杀了!血流下来了,流到我的眼前了,流到我的脚边了.我的恐惧到了极点,不知哪来的力气,大叫一声跳了起来,拼命地向公路上跑去,那些同学也在我身后跑,跑,跑.耳中只听得他们惊慌失措的叫声.我说过不要上去的,我说过的.是他们不肯听我的才会变成这样,不怪我,不怪我,真的不怪我!我猛地醒了.

      窗外阳光正灿烂,就如梦中一样.心犹自在狂跳,我用冰冷的颤抖的手拉开窗帘,阳光一下子洒在脸上,好烫.梦魇就像泥沼,愈挣扎便陷得愈深.一次又一次地在梦中重复着血腥,我再不敢轻易睡觉,每晚倔强地盯着不知所云的电视到雪花闪烁,但倦意怎生压得下?于是心开始变冷了,越来越冷,冷得我从心里开始打寒颤.原先梦里的那双眼眸也早就消失不见.那种心里的血,心里的冷,没有人看得出.我根本是被周围的人所抛弃吗?

      我凝视着双手错综复杂的掌纹,仿佛又闻到了那股血腥的味道.走在路上,看到一个人被迎面而来的汽车撞飞,后又碾过,身体呈“大”字平铺在地上,被撞到被碾过的地方都瘪了下去,露出惨白的碎骨,暗红的残肌,断裂的动脉正汩汩地倾泻,汽车的轮胎印因为沾了血迹而分外清晰.人们在他身边围成了一个不规则的圆形,用冰冷的嗜血的眼睛贪婪地吞噬着这难得的美景.那个人还活着么?还有知觉么?还能感觉到生命随血液流失么?

      那血该是很快就不会再流的吧?在周围的寒意中该是很快冻结的吧?我孤零零地站在围观的人群中,毫无表情,良久才漠然地转过身,却遇上一双漂亮的眼睛,澄清明净,深处带着仿佛是湛蓝色的忧郁,正瞪得大大地瞧着我,仿佛很惊讶.这时,我忽然很想笑.后来拥有这双眼眸的男孩对我说:“那时你的表情真可怕.”“是吗?”我淡淡地道,“什么表情?”

      “完"""全没有表情.”他用夸张的语调说,然后是灿烂如阳光的笑容.你只注意了我么,亲爱的?难道没有注意到我身边的那些兴奋到充血的眼睛?你比从前是天真的多了,这一切不都是你教给我的么?

      第一次看到那漂亮眸子的男孩时,我便认了出来是他,现在的他很快乐,他很幸福,有亲人,有爱情,有朋友,认识我这样一个苍白恍惚的女孩对他来说是很新奇的经验.他从来没有过不幸,那么眼中那份湛蓝的忧郁是怎么来的呢?我知道.因为他是那个人.那个人总是不快乐的,当然有一双忧郁的眼睛,所以现在的他也有,所以分别了这么久我仍能认出来.只是,除了第一次见面时,我从来没有直视过他的眸子.从前听说一个故事,一个男子在黑暗的幽巷中拦截陌生人,寻找一双海水般的蓝眼睛,好把它们挖出来带给自己的爱人.我没有爱人.那双眼睛应该是属于我的.前世他欠了我一个未来,现在是收回的时候了.

      我研究着自己凌乱模糊的掌纹,断了又续,续了又断,分出无数的歧路,终于还是没能走远就消失了.那就是现在.他不会知道,我的整个生命都浸透鲜血.因为他.我开始找他玩,和他的女朋友一起谈天说地,我知道他的心里只有他女朋友,正如我心里只有寒意与血.我微笑着看他和她的亲热甜蜜,看他灿烂如阳光,她柔美如清泉的笑容.天气预报说,今天会下雨.于是我拨通了他的号码.“什么事啊?干吗这么神秘非要在这儿见?”

      当他来到我指定的地点,好奇地问道.虽然没有风,芙蓉树却在凝固的空气中一阵簌簌颤抖.有什么可怕的呢?你不是都看到过了么?如今,不过是重演一遍而已啊.我终于有勇气直直地看进他的眼里,看进那份湛蓝的忧郁.那双眼睛是属于我的.“你的眼睛真漂亮……第一次看见时,我就这么想.”我看着他眼中的影像.那个和我一般无二的女孩正冲着我漠然地微笑.“你……”他的话没能说完,再也没有机会说完了.

      我不知道我做了什么,更不知道是怎么做的.只是当我平静下来之后,他已经倒在了地上,血,红如芙蓉花的血正从唇边不住渗出,他的脸却比雪还白.我凝视着手里的寒冷刀锋,用手指轻抚过薄刃,一串滑润的血珠沿着优美的弧线滴落,滴落到他苍白的脸上,和他的血交融在一起.下雨了,天气预报居然很准,真的下雨了.大颗大颗的雨打下来,打在刀面上铮铮作响,打到他脸上便溶开了浓郁的鲜血,把亮红变成了淡粉.他的生命,我的生命,都一如芙蓉花般短暂.

      “你欠的未来,我收回了.”我在他耳边轻轻地道.虽然他漂亮的眸中已没了光彩,那份湛蓝也迅速褪去,但他仍能听得见,听得懂.我知道.前世,他在那苍老的芙蓉树下许我,在那芙蓉树下负我,我便在朦朦的雨丝中用我的血祭了花神.

      当魂魄最后一次漠然回顾地上洇开的漫漫凄艳中浸湿的芙蓉花,就已知道这一世的身躯不过是寻他的道具.既已寻到,戏自然只剩了结局.我捧着他的眸子,在芙蓉树下,用纤细柔弱的手指刨开坚实暗黑的土壤,连同我的心一道掩埋,再如前世一样割开手腕,让血渗入大地.那双眼神一如梦中,哀哀切切地徘徊不去,我冷冷清清地转过身,只留背影映在那千呼万唤的眸中.一朵妩媚的芙蓉花飘落下来,我伸出伤痕累累,兀自滴着血的手接住,微笑了.

    Tags: 人心 薄刃

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